Saturday, March 31, 2012

The girl with the shattered happiness

I recently drew this picture of a girl holding a cracking, smiling mask and I thought that it was a good used symbolism. If there are any opinions, please tell me- good or bad, I'd love the feedback. :)
Of late, I have been studying and working my arsh off for exit exams, tests, and just regular days and personally, I think it's crazy that we have to do sooooo much stuff just to earn a good grade or a decent one at least. I mean, I'm tired and I'm trying my best, but I can't help but worry about whether my best is good enough (by the way, this is the first post I'm doing off of my iPod, so if it looks off, tell me 'cause I don't know how it looks).
So yeah. Short post because I'm tired and running out of go-juice (sleep). Please leave some feedback on the picture I drew!!!! :D

Friday, March 16, 2012


               This time, I honestly don't think there's a point to this post. I'm kinda just writing to get my thoughts down on electronic paper. I wonder, for the people that actually do read this blog, if they think it's weird, or stupid, or equivalent to the great American novel. Sometimes, I wish I could see what people were thinking. Just for fun, but not all the time; I could control whose mind I was reading. Like if I see that it's very obvious that someone doesn't like someone else.
               "Oooooooh, she is such a jerk! How could she possibly try to even be my friend? So annoying!"
               See, that's when I would come in. "HEY! YOU! YEAH, YOU! SHE (I'd point to the girl whose mind I was reading) THINKS YOU'RE AN ANNOYING JERK!!!! YEAH; YOU SHOULD TELL HER WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND!!!!" Then the girl whose mind I read would look at me and I'd say "No need to thank me."
                            Then I'd give her a cheesy thumbs up with a smile and a wink. 
               Recently, I found out that a friend of mine was moving to the other side of the world (Japan) and, honestly, that well and truly sucks. He was a really close friend, and it really hurts to know and understand the fact that he's leaving. All I know is that Asia is getting their best family back. The goodbye party was the worst party ever. The best time I ever had with him; the last best time for years to come. I don't know when I'll see him again; I don't know IF I'll see him again. Then again, that can be said about anyone. Anybody that we know could easily be gone before we know it; I know this first hand. The only thing I wish is that I wish I knew when I was going to see him again. The times are changing, my friends are changing, and I'm still trying to catch up.
               A lot of other friends I have are figuring out what they want to pursue as a career and leaving to go to schools that specialize in those fields, and I didn't even apply to any school like that. I want to do something in the arts, but I still don't know what. It's not like I don't have time, but I want to figure it out soon. I'm very impatient. :)
               I don't understand people. They say they love someone and then go around with someone else. They give out these feelings, but mean something else. All I know is that people are very complicated. I think they try to make life much more difficult than what it has to be. Life could be very simple; you learn from mistakes, grow up, become an adult- life has a simple formula. But I guess people often time get the equations confused with other symbols.......

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Stessful vibes

                        I feel like something's wrong. Not exactly bad, but just off. I can't put my finger on it, I really can't, but I feel like something BIG might happen soon. Like someone's going to lose their temper or just breakdown. I don't know why, but I'm getting this vibe and I can't shake it. I don't know if it'll be me (probably), a friend (perhaps- some names do come up in my head), or family (maybe; it's not impossible). I don't even know how to say it; I just feel it. If I'm not the only one, please tell me- I'm starting to think I'm going insane (if it hasn't already happened).
                       I'm listening to my "Hawk Nelson" station on Pandora right now. Again, I'm procrastinating. Right now, I'm trying to focus on Jason Dunn's voice rather than my project due next Monday (I'm almost semi-done). Hehehe, the irony is that the song is called "Nothing Left to Show." That's probably what's going to happen if I don't get started on my research for a different project due in about 2 weeks. HA! I'm going into a state of hysteria. I'm so spastic about my projects, I'm laughing randomly (first, the vibes- now I'm in hysterics. Maybe I have gone insane.). This is CRAZY!!!! What is it with teachers and professors assigning projects to be due right after spring break?!?!! And then, 2 weeks back in school, I have finals for 2 or 3 subjects!!! I fail to see how testing us right after spring break shows the best we can do. Our brains are still frazzled from tanning and chilling, dearest teacher!!!!
                       Gosh, so much for common sense.

Monday, March 12, 2012

Pearsall, Music, and Procrastinating

                    Right now, as we all know to be true (thank God), is spring break. However, I will be in a town called Pearsall for the next couple of days. I've been running down the battery on my iPod by using instagram too much. I've been posting more and more and even MORE pictures on there. I'll find a way to better occupy my time, but I already know what I have to do.
                          RESEARCH. FOR. PROJECTS. THAT. ARE. SO. TIME-CONSUMING!!!!!!!
                     It's going to sound weird, but has anyone out there noticed that when you're listening to a movie soundtrack, the right song comes up at just the right moment? I have my iPod on shuffle right now, and I've heard 2 songs from lord of the rings already. The thing is that the right songs come up at the right moment. Right now, as I'm having this epiphany, a choir of elves are singing and just as I'm starting to get a brain-writer-block-thing, the music goes into a deep, omnious, dark theme. It's just all so convinent that it happens at just the right time.
                     There was one time I was at the gun show and I was going to the restroom (not unheard of). My headphones were still on, and the song "Bag End" came on from the lord of the rings movie soundtrack. It was calm and peaceful, with flutes and soft wind instruments. But all of a sudden, I got stuck behind these really slow people. Right then, it started to crescendo and go into a desperate, creepy tone. I had to cover my mouth to try my best not to laugh out loud. Right after I got out from behind them, the song went back to the gentle, soothing melody it was before and when I walked into the restroom, the song started to decrescendo. By the time I was washing my hands, the song ended and the next song came.
                      Music always has a funny way of jamming it's funky foot into the door of your life. At the exact moment you slam the door in it's face, you look down and see a crooked foot stuck at the bottom, preventing the door from being closed. Somehow, it always shows back up, whether you want him or not. :)

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Stupid Drama

                   Sigh. The drama of all of my friends. I was never EVER involved in drama earlier, and somehow I became a part of it this year. I mean, I love giving advice, I like knowing that I'm important enough to you to tell me your problems, but I honestly don't know why you have that much drama to begin with. We're young, we smell good, we're all pretty chill, and yet people (my friends) refuse to accept that we live in reality, not a novella.
                  "HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT!!! I AM NOT FAT!!! (slap slap)"
                  "Melinda, I swear, I only said that your skirt was puffy....."
                  And then soon after she runs away crying with poor little Lupe running close behind. I simply fail to see how these stupid arguments they have are relevant to the rest of their life. If someone told me I were fat, I'd be angry, but it wouldn't exactly become my new-found hatred.....sigh. I just don't understand.....

Sunday, March 4, 2012


Hey! So I'm here at the gun show and I figured I would post my first picture on the blog!!! I drew her a while back (a month or 2) and I know the hands are a little messy, but I've always kinda liked this style of drawing. Oh, the shading! I had posted this on instagram and added some different shading so it's more noticeable (yes, I took a photo of a drawn picture- it's easier than scanning). If you don't know already, I REALLLLY don't like having to wake up early on the weekend to go to a gun show of all things, but this is going to be my dad's last gun show for a while (he's a blacksmith, so he sells some of his knives). I'm actually a bit nervous about posting the picture; as I mentioned earlier, this is the first time I'm posting online for all of the world to see. Treat the picture like a marshmallow- poke and prod all you want, but don't burn or melt it. Also, please remember I'm no pro- I'm just an amateur cartoonist. ;)
                                                    Your Artist,

Friday, March 2, 2012

Blank stares at blank pages....

             Hm. It's interesting, really. All this week, my days have been all mixed up. Monday felt like a really weird Saturday, Tuesday felt like Wednesday, Wednesday (for me) felt like a Tuesday in the morning and a Thursday in the afternoon. Thursday felt like a Wednesday (and a stressful one at that), and today (Friday) felt like a Saturday. I've had trouble putting the name of the week to the day of the week and I still don't know why. 
             When I think of torture, I think of being in a foreign world where I am left alone. I love being alone, don't get me wrong, but when I am placed in a strange environment, I don't mind a bit of company. Somehow, I have this nightmare-ish image of waking up one morning and walking outside only to find a whole different world and not a friend that cares. I don't really know why I have this fear; that, and butterflies or any sort of flying insects. I just don't understand why I have these irrational fears (yes, this includes insects).
              So I have a UIL contest next Friday and I'm pretty nervous. It's for our advanced and intermediate choir; I'm in advanced, so I'll be competing with them. The only real reason I'm nervous is because I am slightly worried that we'll make just the slightest mistake and the judges will just knock us for it. I shouldn't be worried about our choir- I have confidence and faith in not just myself, but the others. I just feel like there's going to be really grumpy judges.
              I don't really know how to finish this entry, but I guess I could simply state what's on my mind.......(blank stare at blank lines)...........nothing is on my mind.
dododoooodododoododddoooo (humming random music that comes into my head)....