Sunday, May 27, 2012

OCD Hipster

         I feel like such a hipster today. I went to starbucks to get my iced frappuccino. After that, I made my mind up that when I get home, I'd blog. Then I'd check on my photos on my iPod. All the while, I walked wearing some Birkenstock sandals, a tank top underneath my button up shirt (only buttoned up halfway), cargo pants, a satchel hitting my side, and my hair down and flowing in the wind. Such a hipster moment. The thing is, I didn't realize it was totally hipster until I said it aloud and got out of my car. 
         Anyways, I was talking to my friend the other day and we got onto the subject of "My Little Pony." I told her how amazing I thought it was (which it is, by the way- you should all watch it) and we started talking about our favorite characters. It then came to our minds to figure out who we were as the ponies. She said I was like Twilight Sparkle- the one who reads and studies all the time, never makes new friends unless her other friends introduce them, and has her best friend with her all the time and has to get them out of trouble. When I finally analyzed all of this, I came to a realization- I'm Twilight. Completely and utterly. It's so weird that I end up being all the main, OCD, studious characters, but I guess it makes sense. I took a quiz about which Nightmare Before Christmas character I was for fun- I was Jack. I'm Twilight Sparkles. Apparently, I look and act like Velma Dinkley from Scooby Doo. I end up being all of those characters.
         Lately, I've noticed that I've been a little more spastic than usual. I don't know if it's because summer's only 3 days away, or because of my life going pretty well of late, or because I just am. I honestly don't know, but what can a girl do? It's odd, really- all my years in school, I looked forward to summer vacation, but this year, I'm kinda looking forward to it, but not really. I don't wanna leave my friends, but I wanna go to South Padre Island. I don't want a friend of mine to move to North Carolina, but I want my cousin to move in already. I don't want another friend to be in Puerto Rico for 2 months, but I want to have someone to always facetime with. I don't want my friends going to different campuses, but I'm ready to reboot my reputation. I'm a little torn, but I know there's nothing I can do. Everything has it's pros and cons, but I know I'll never be able to even them out. It's cool, though- I know I'll live. I just don't know what the difficulty of my life will be after this summer. I'm sure it'll still be relatively easy, but I just don't want certain people to leave. I only don't want them to leave because I have a fear of them forgetting me. I don't want to be forgotten- I don't want to be alone- I'm just a bit insecure about that whole thing.
         Any time I'm alone and not doing anything, I find myself hounded with past mistakes, past conversations, past heartbreaks, what I should've done, could've done, didn't do. I find that I become a graveyard for my past and a burnt map about my future. I become something that I never wanted to be- a lonely girl, stuck thinking about how I should've been more understanding, how I could've been a better friend, how I need to change everything. I need friends- I need something to do- I need. I need to
         I guess I figured out how I always end up being those characters. On the Jack Skellington quiz, it said that i was "very curious and persistent. You obsess over some things and once something gets into you head, you can't let it go. You like to be alone, but are social sometimes too. You are a leader and not a follower and don't think things through sometimes. You are the main character."  I know I normally don't think about it, but this description is pretty spot on. It's odd, really- I know it in my heart that anyone reading this post will think I'm the weirdest person in the universe. I don't mind, but I just think that I will end up causing many arguements in my many posts.
I love causing mischief. >:D


  1. Sanity, alone i don't have it, but as of late(8th grade) I've become more sane, the answer to why has escaped me, until now, when the relationship with all my friends is being threatened by summer. sanity, i have found, is my friends(mainly a certain person who "sings like a black person"). And when this great friendship is in danger, my sanity leaves, hysteria awaiting. This really does make sense though, i know for a fact that my mind was not in the right place before 8th grade, and i guess that's because I, for the most part, had no friends. I even kinda hated myself. But no as summer awaits, my mind starts to leave for vacation.

  2. Your whole post makes sense... and I feel that too. I left all my friends forever now in Colorado.... But the past is the past. You can't change it. Let it go.. That's what I say... But overall, look forward in life.

    Keep your head up high, so you can see heaven better.