English happiness.

         I don't know exactly what I should write. It's been awhile (again) since I wrote here, and I've been writing more poems and basically just venting to no one else but a handful of friends/family and God. I feel a lot happier than what I did before, it's quite wonderful. I never really noticed how angry I had been getting at basically every person I love. But (surprisingly enough) as time has gone on, I've noticed this, and I need a better way to express how I feel.
         We had been doing different ways to write poems in English, and these are the ones I wrote (I know, they might not be the best, but hey- they were fun to write):

Running away from reality,
hide my tears in the rain and release all my troubles,
running away from life for a little while-
it hurts to stay inside my mind for too long,
take stress off my sore and aching heart,
trees heaving long, moaning breaths
in the bitter winds of December,
leaving my life,
happiness stays forever in place of stress and pain.

Resilient in the fave of evil acts,
families in your heart,
I awakened with heaviness,
put on a brave face,
send their kids off-
Disturbed I was
throughout the day,
we cannot tolerate this anymore;
neither can we live in fear.
To be resilient,
I calmed down,
focus againg,
we needed to be strong,
needed to come together,
carry on best we could-
resilience,
not living in fear-
there isn't enough to make sense of what has happened,
we can make it through the storm,
time to come together,
one love.

        I really only wanted to just put these somewhere. I'm not exactly brave enough to read them aloud, so I figure I'd post it. :D

                                            -Yours truly. :)

I'M ALIVE!!!!

         HEY GUYS!!!!! :D It's me again! I finally returned. It's been a while. School's been keeping me VERY busy, and I didn't have time. :S But here I am again! :)
         So I followed through with my promise- the picture I did for the Relient K concert! :) I never turned it into a shirt, but I had it with me at the concert (where I met and sung and goofed off with John Warne :3) and got John, Matt (Hoopes), Ethan, and Jon to sign it! XD That was a pretty wonderful concert.
         I had also gotten really bored at a best buy, so I drew a potato an wrote a poem-
"So today's a rainy day
I don't quite know what to say
POTATO." (I'm paraphrasing, by the way)
         I've been trying to convey emotions by using the body more than the face now, so I drew a very common (sadly enough) emotion first- anger/depression. The words in the background say "Wrap your arms around me, I know, Waking up with a tear stained pillow, It's hard to understand when no one ever seems to care (hawk nelson song verses."
         I'm also thinking of writing a short story, which is found in this picture- "And when she awoke, the memory was gone."
         Sorry it's not that long of a post, guys- I do have homework to tackle. -_- Later, skater gators! XD
                      -yours truly.

Texts at 1:30.

         So just the other night, I was falling asleep (as usual) and all of a sudden, I heard a vibration from the side of my bed. In a haze, I reach over and grab my phone to check why. And again, it vibrated. AND AGAIN. I was well awake now and I saw there were 3 messages- all from Raze.
                            "Hey, I'm stalking your blog, and I've found stories about me! Like the one with the rubric with science. :) Love ya, Buddy!"
         After reading this one, I looked at the time; 1:30 A.M.
                            "Sorry, didn't realize it was so late. O.o"
         Of course, this was certainly something that Raze would do. *smirk*
                             "NIGHT! :)"
         Y'see, this is the exact situation I've never been in before. I was kinda awake, so I just replied with what I could think of to begin with.
                             "Lol, awesome! Glad youre my blag stalker, bro. Love ya too, buddy! I was wondering. *stare into space, who is texting me...* Night! :D"
                             "Haha.
                               Sorrrrrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
                               Night! :D :D :D"
         I told him I would blog about this, so I know that this isn't exactly the most rewarding of posts but hey- it's a treat for Raze. Jeez, I talk about him like he's a dog. Nonetheless, it was an awkward conversation at nearly 2 in the morning and I honestly didn't really remember it too well until I looked through my phone again.
         Anyways, I finally finished my summer reading a week before school starts and I'm also writing an epic poem. Not epic like "EPIC" but epic as in very long. A story with the rhyming scheme of ABAB. IT'S MUCH MORE DIFFICULT THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. Ugh, I can't stop writing, but it's very hard. :S
         I have a few new pics to post later today. BRACE YOURSELF!!!!
         ......well, this was short. I don't have much to say. I'll be back later to post again!!!!!

Love y'all! <3
        

Late night skype.

         It's 2 A.M., and I am still awake here with my cousin. He's reading everything I type in a British accent (a pretty bad one, at that). *planning murder secretly >:}* So I'm pretty exhausted, I did a lot of cleaning and biking and such today. I haven't been intensely focusing on any one thing for too long, but I have noticed that no matter how hard I try, I can't focus to begin with.
         My cousin was skyping with random "fans" earlier today (at about 1-ish) and they sounded somewhat russian/french/whatever-the-heck-they-were. The weird thing was that they kept wanting to talk to ME. Yeah, some random cousin of "Nate Cashkiller." One of them kept saying "Why don't you sing with me?" and "I know you have a beautiful voice," along with "Send us a pic, Nate, of you and your cousin- she must be beautiful/cute." Here's what went through my head- "I'm glad I don't know you in real life because you sound extremely creeper-ish and why do you want to talk to me, anyways? Plus, I don't get good vibes off of you. I don't like you. Stop talking to me." Eventually, he did (thank God) and I was able to sketch in peace.
         That's about all I have to say. Next post will be of new pictures!!! :D Goodnight! Love whoever reads this idiotic thing because you read it! <3

Currently curious

         I wonder if anyone really reads this blog. I only ever have 1 or 2 comments on every post, but that may be because I never blog about controversial stuff, like politics, gay rights, global warming, blah blah blah. Quite honestly, I think it would be best for me to not say what I think about those things for one simple reason- if I say something that someone doesn't agree with, I will be shut up and shut out by those in power and despite my "inalienable rights," they'll find a loophole. If I support gay rights, I'll be hit by those that don't. If I don't support gay rights, I'll be attacked by those that do which we all know are the ones that are well known and can easily wipe me off the map. If I love Obama, I will be hit by those that have a deep hatred for him. If I strongly dislike him, I'll be in a worse position than before and I will be beaten more than anyone else on the internet just because I'm an easy target. Honestly, I don't care about global warming, it's not a pressing issue anymore, really. I think I would rather keep this blog neutral than anything else- I just wish more people would read this stupid thing.
         I do have some more updates on my life, however. I'm going to the movies with some friends and I'm pretty excited (going to see "The Dark Knight Rises" again). I've been drawing more, so I'll post some more in a few posts. I've discovered that my eyes, lips, and toes are my favorite features that (even if I were given the opportunity to) I would never change. My dog is getting way too fat. I tell my friends that everything will be fine and that everyone will stay in contact with each other, but I'm losing faith and I'm starting to doubt the comforting words I feed to the others. I like Mexican Coca-Cola better than regular Coke, but my favorite soda is Mountain Dew. I don't think I'm going to get any bigger (except sideways, maybe). I've been playing the bass more and I think I'm improving ever so slightly. I always wear a watch- I have for years and it always leaves an annoying tan line. My cousin is coming into town tonight (Wednesday night) and will be here for a few days, and then will be leaving and returning, but this time, STAYING until he can rent out his own house. I love listening to my friend(s) play the guitar- it makes me really happy, for some odd reason. I enjoy lightly colored eyes. Don't know what it is about them, but they're just so beautiful in their colder colors.
         I don't have much else to say. I just kinda wanted to say some stuff that was on my mind.
         

I need to go to bed.

         I'm not really sure what to write here this time. I'm going to a Relient K concert this August and I've designed a shirt to wear. It's pretty cool looking, I'll include it on the next post. I've already gotten my tickets in the mail and I will be fan-girling for the next month. Pretty excited!!!!
         I've been pouring over old books and yearbooks lately and I'm surprised by how many nice, heartfelt comments I've received. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to put myself down or anything, I'm just so surprised. I think it's really sweet, but it's just so funny to me. :)
         This is kind of a pointless post, so just bear with me, people. It's almost 2 in the morning and I'm just lying down in bed typing. I have all my Beatles posters looking at me (here's to you, George) and I have my calender hanging on the wall, full of social events. I got my teddy bears here next to me (my 10 year old teddy bear, Mr. Davey-my favorite). I've got a bunch of old artwork and awards for academics and choir hanging on my walls, and I've got heavy eyelids that long to see the daylight of the night. Rather, they long to see the dreams breaking on the horizon of my innermost thoughts and utmost wants.
         Enough for tonight. I need sleep.
         G'night!
                        Truthfully tired and forever dreaming,
                                                              __________________________ 

Anger.

         I'm going to rant this time. About EVERYTHING THAT BOTHERS ME. I don't know what else to write, so I'm going to go all out on this.
         I dislike when little kids are treated like royalty and they're the most annoying, bratty little kids on the face of the earth. I hate when people act all sweet and kind around you and then once you get to know them, they're the most disgusting person you've ever met. I hate when someone gets really close to you only to stab you in the back and leave you for dead. I hate when people judge me because of the way I dress, or laugh, or do anything that I do. I hate being shut out by close friends because someone is rotting inside from telling lies and rumors about me. I hate being hurt by people I love and will always love, despite how much I want to hate them.
         I can't stand it when my friends are picked off like so many insects because they hang out with me, or because of how they walk and talk, or simply because of how they look. I wish I could live without everyone hurting those people who are different from the rest. I wish that people could see the difference between love and lust. I wish that society today could take the film off their eyes and realize that the world around them is crumbling and that we need to make a difference.
         I understand people may not share the same views as me, but I've said I hate what people do and what they say and such, but I can't say I hate anyone. No matter how hard I may try, I just can't hate a PERSON.
         Sigh. Alright.
                                         Deflated anger.
                                                                                I feel better.