It's 2 A.M., and I am still awake here with my cousin. He's reading everything I type in a British accent (a pretty bad one, at that). *planning murder secretly >:}* So I'm pretty exhausted, I did a lot of cleaning and biking and such today. I haven't been intensely focusing on any one thing for too long, but I have noticed that no matter how hard I try, I can't focus to begin with.
My cousin was skyping with random "fans" earlier today (at about 1-ish) and they sounded somewhat russian/french/whatever-the-heck-they-were. The weird thing was that they kept wanting to talk to ME. Yeah, some random cousin of "Nate Cashkiller." One of them kept saying "Why don't you sing with me?" and "I know you have a beautiful voice," along with "Send us a pic, Nate, of you and your cousin- she must be beautiful/cute." Here's what went through my head- "I'm glad I don't know you in real life because you sound extremely creeper-ish and why do you want to talk to me, anyways? Plus, I don't get good vibes off of you. I don't like you. Stop talking to me." Eventually, he did (thank God) and I was able to sketch in peace.
That's about all I have to say. Next post will be of new pictures!!! :D Goodnight! Love whoever reads this idiotic thing because you read it! <3
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Currently curious
I wonder if anyone really reads this blog. I only ever have 1 or 2 comments on every post, but that may be because I never blog about controversial stuff, like politics, gay rights, global warming, blah blah blah. Quite honestly, I think it would be best for me to not say what I think about those things for one simple reason- if I say something that someone doesn't agree with, I will be shut up and shut out by those in power and despite my "inalienable rights," they'll find a loophole. If I support gay rights, I'll be hit by those that don't. If I don't support gay rights, I'll be attacked by those that do which we all know are the ones that are well known and can easily wipe me off the map. If I love Obama, I will be hit by those that have a deep hatred for him. If I strongly dislike him, I'll be in a worse position than before and I will be beaten more than anyone else on the internet just because I'm an easy target. Honestly, I don't care about global warming, it's not a pressing issue anymore, really. I think I would rather keep this blog neutral than anything else- I just wish more people would read this stupid thing.
I do have some more updates on my life, however. I'm going to the movies with some friends and I'm pretty excited (going to see "The Dark Knight Rises" again). I've been drawing more, so I'll post some more in a few posts. I've discovered that my eyes, lips, and toes are my favorite features that (even if I were given the opportunity to) I would never change. My dog is getting way too fat. I tell my friends that everything will be fine and that everyone will stay in contact with each other, but I'm losing faith and I'm starting to doubt the comforting words I feed to the others. I like Mexican Coca-Cola better than regular Coke, but my favorite soda is Mountain Dew. I don't think I'm going to get any bigger (except sideways, maybe). I've been playing the bass more and I think I'm improving ever so slightly. I always wear a watch- I have for years and it always leaves an annoying tan line. My cousin is coming into town tonight (Wednesday night) and will be here for a few days, and then will be leaving and returning, but this time, STAYING until he can rent out his own house. I love listening to my friend(s) play the guitar- it makes me really happy, for some odd reason. I enjoy lightly colored eyes. Don't know what it is about them, but they're just so beautiful in their colder colors.
I don't have much else to say. I just kinda wanted to say some stuff that was on my mind.
I do have some more updates on my life, however. I'm going to the movies with some friends and I'm pretty excited (going to see "The Dark Knight Rises" again). I've been drawing more, so I'll post some more in a few posts. I've discovered that my eyes, lips, and toes are my favorite features that (even if I were given the opportunity to) I would never change. My dog is getting way too fat. I tell my friends that everything will be fine and that everyone will stay in contact with each other, but I'm losing faith and I'm starting to doubt the comforting words I feed to the others. I like Mexican Coca-Cola better than regular Coke, but my favorite soda is Mountain Dew. I don't think I'm going to get any bigger (except sideways, maybe). I've been playing the bass more and I think I'm improving ever so slightly. I always wear a watch- I have for years and it always leaves an annoying tan line. My cousin is coming into town tonight (Wednesday night) and will be here for a few days, and then will be leaving and returning, but this time, STAYING until he can rent out his own house. I love listening to my friend(s) play the guitar- it makes me really happy, for some odd reason. I enjoy lightly colored eyes. Don't know what it is about them, but they're just so beautiful in their colder colors.
I don't have much else to say. I just kinda wanted to say some stuff that was on my mind.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
I need to go to bed.
I'm not really sure what to write here this time. I'm going to a Relient K concert this August and I've designed a shirt to wear. It's pretty cool looking, I'll include it on the next post. I've already gotten my tickets in the mail and I will be fan-girling for the next month. Pretty excited!!!!
I've been pouring over old books and yearbooks lately and I'm surprised by how many nice, heartfelt comments I've received. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to put myself down or anything, I'm just so surprised. I think it's really sweet, but it's just so funny to me. :)
This is kind of a pointless post, so just bear with me, people. It's almost 2 in the morning and I'm just lying down in bed typing. I have all my Beatles posters looking at me (here's to you, George) and I have my calender hanging on the wall, full of social events. I got my teddy bears here next to me (my 10 year old teddy bear, Mr. Davey-my favorite). I've got a bunch of old artwork and awards for academics and choir hanging on my walls, and I've got heavy eyelids that long to see the daylight of the night. Rather, they long to see the dreams breaking on the horizon of my innermost thoughts and utmost wants.
Enough for tonight. I need sleep.
G'night!
Truthfully tired and forever dreaming,
__________________________
I've been pouring over old books and yearbooks lately and I'm surprised by how many nice, heartfelt comments I've received. Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to put myself down or anything, I'm just so surprised. I think it's really sweet, but it's just so funny to me. :)
This is kind of a pointless post, so just bear with me, people. It's almost 2 in the morning and I'm just lying down in bed typing. I have all my Beatles posters looking at me (here's to you, George) and I have my calender hanging on the wall, full of social events. I got my teddy bears here next to me (my 10 year old teddy bear, Mr. Davey-my favorite). I've got a bunch of old artwork and awards for academics and choir hanging on my walls, and I've got heavy eyelids that long to see the daylight of the night. Rather, they long to see the dreams breaking on the horizon of my innermost thoughts and utmost wants.
Enough for tonight. I need sleep.
G'night!
Truthfully tired and forever dreaming,
__________________________
Friday, June 29, 2012
Anger.
I'm going to rant this time. About EVERYTHING THAT BOTHERS ME. I don't know what else to write, so I'm going to go all out on this.
I dislike when little kids are treated like royalty and they're the most annoying, bratty little kids on the face of the earth. I hate when people act all sweet and kind around you and then once you get to know them, they're the most disgusting person you've ever met. I hate when someone gets really close to you only to stab you in the back and leave you for dead. I hate when people judge me because of the way I dress, or laugh, or do anything that I do. I hate being shut out by close friends because someone is rotting inside from telling lies and rumors about me. I hate being hurt by people I love and will always love, despite how much I want to hate them.
I can't stand it when my friends are picked off like so many insects because they hang out with me, or because of how they walk and talk, or simply because of how they look. I wish I could live without everyone hurting those people who are different from the rest. I wish that people could see the difference between love and lust. I wish that society today could take the film off their eyes and realize that the world around them is crumbling and that we need to make a difference.
I understand people may not share the same views as me, but I've said I hate what people do and what they say and such, but I can't say I hate anyone. No matter how hard I may try, I just can't hate a PERSON.
Sigh. Alright.
Deflated anger.
I feel better.
I dislike when little kids are treated like royalty and they're the most annoying, bratty little kids on the face of the earth. I hate when people act all sweet and kind around you and then once you get to know them, they're the most disgusting person you've ever met. I hate when someone gets really close to you only to stab you in the back and leave you for dead. I hate when people judge me because of the way I dress, or laugh, or do anything that I do. I hate being shut out by close friends because someone is rotting inside from telling lies and rumors about me. I hate being hurt by people I love and will always love, despite how much I want to hate them.
I can't stand it when my friends are picked off like so many insects because they hang out with me, or because of how they walk and talk, or simply because of how they look. I wish I could live without everyone hurting those people who are different from the rest. I wish that people could see the difference between love and lust. I wish that society today could take the film off their eyes and realize that the world around them is crumbling and that we need to make a difference.
I understand people may not share the same views as me, but I've said I hate what people do and what they say and such, but I can't say I hate anyone. No matter how hard I may try, I just can't hate a PERSON.
Sigh. Alright.
Deflated anger.
I feel better.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Crazed family eating Cheetos.
So right now, I'm in little Pearsall, TX and I've noticed my family's gone completely insane. I over-hear my cousins arguing about zombies and whether they run fast or slow (they run slow, by the way). I also see that my grandparents found a turtle and have it in the backyard along with 2 dogs, a pond full of fish, and an oversized cat. My cousin also has a baby whale (oversized beta fish). Oh, the joys of being in America.
My family's so peculiar. I guess that's why people like my family so much. I think they like them because they just haven't seen them in their natural habitat. My dad is a blacksmith, married to a nurse (match made in clumsy heaven). I am a clumsy little chickee who needs glasses and looks horrible in a bun. My cousin dresses like a spastic beautician and IS a spastic beautician. My other cousin is engaged to a childhood friend and loves his meat and potatoes a little TOO much (kind of round, but it's cool). Lastly, my dog has gotten to be twice the size of what she used to be- she's my fat little sausage.
I don't really know where else to go with this post. I'm drawing some new pictures and I'll be posting them soon. One is a dog (if Raze is reading this, it's your dog), another is a sweet picture of amazing-ness (it's actually one of my favorites), and some other picture, but I don't know which one yet. Y'know what I've also noticed? Cheetos.
Cheetos are so...........weird. I mean, they're unnatural and so oddly shaped. It's covered with artificial cheese and it tastes so funky, not to mention the gross texture. The weird thing is that I used to love Cheetos. I ate them ALL THE TIME as a little kid. I don't know what happened, but they're just so gross now.
I guess this is kind of a short post. It's the shortest post I've ever written. There wasn't really a point to this post, was there? Oh well. It's cool. Anyhow......... Yeah.
Yours truly,
_________________
My family's so peculiar. I guess that's why people like my family so much. I think they like them because they just haven't seen them in their natural habitat. My dad is a blacksmith, married to a nurse (match made in clumsy heaven). I am a clumsy little chickee who needs glasses and looks horrible in a bun. My cousin dresses like a spastic beautician and IS a spastic beautician. My other cousin is engaged to a childhood friend and loves his meat and potatoes a little TOO much (kind of round, but it's cool). Lastly, my dog has gotten to be twice the size of what she used to be- she's my fat little sausage.
I don't really know where else to go with this post. I'm drawing some new pictures and I'll be posting them soon. One is a dog (if Raze is reading this, it's your dog), another is a sweet picture of amazing-ness (it's actually one of my favorites), and some other picture, but I don't know which one yet. Y'know what I've also noticed? Cheetos.
Cheetos are so...........weird. I mean, they're unnatural and so oddly shaped. It's covered with artificial cheese and it tastes so funky, not to mention the gross texture. The weird thing is that I used to love Cheetos. I ate them ALL THE TIME as a little kid. I don't know what happened, but they're just so gross now.
I guess this is kind of a short post. It's the shortest post I've ever written. There wasn't really a point to this post, was there? Oh well. It's cool. Anyhow......... Yeah.
Yours truly,
_________________
Sunday, May 27, 2012
OCD Hipster
I feel like such a hipster today. I went to starbucks to get my iced frappuccino. After that, I made my mind up that when I get home, I'd blog. Then I'd check on my photos on my iPod. All the while, I walked wearing some Birkenstock sandals, a tank top underneath my button up shirt (only buttoned up halfway), cargo pants, a satchel hitting my side, and my hair down and flowing in the wind. Such a hipster moment. The thing is, I didn't realize it was totally hipster until I said it aloud and got out of my car.
Anyways, I was talking to my friend the other day and we got onto the subject of "My Little Pony." I told her how amazing I thought it was (which it is, by the way- you should all watch it) and we started talking about our favorite characters. It then came to our minds to figure out who we were as the ponies. She said I was like Twilight Sparkle- the one who reads and studies all the time, never makes new friends unless her other friends introduce them, and has her best friend with her all the time and has to get them out of trouble. When I finally analyzed all of this, I came to a realization- I'm Twilight. Completely and utterly. It's so weird that I end up being all the main, OCD, studious characters, but I guess it makes sense. I took a quiz about which Nightmare Before Christmas character I was for fun- I was Jack. I'm Twilight Sparkles. Apparently, I look and act like Velma Dinkley from Scooby Doo. I end up being all of those characters.
Lately, I've noticed that I've been a little more spastic than usual. I don't know if it's because summer's only 3 days away, or because of my life going pretty well of late, or because I just am. I honestly don't know, but what can a girl do? It's odd, really- all my years in school, I looked forward to summer vacation, but this year, I'm kinda looking forward to it, but not really. I don't wanna leave my friends, but I wanna go to South Padre Island. I don't want a friend of mine to move to North Carolina, but I want my cousin to move in already. I don't want another friend to be in Puerto Rico for 2 months, but I want to have someone to always facetime with. I don't want my friends going to different campuses, but I'm ready to reboot my reputation. I'm a little torn, but I know there's nothing I can do. Everything has it's pros and cons, but I know I'll never be able to even them out. It's cool, though- I know I'll live. I just don't know what the difficulty of my life will be after this summer. I'm sure it'll still be relatively easy, but I just don't want certain people to leave. I only don't want them to leave because I have a fear of them forgetting me. I don't want to be forgotten- I don't want to be alone- I'm just a bit insecure about that whole thing.
Any time I'm alone and not doing anything, I find myself hounded with past mistakes, past conversations, past heartbreaks, what I should've done, could've done, didn't do. I find that I become a graveyard for my past and a burnt map about my future. I become something that I never wanted to be- a lonely girl, stuck thinking about how I should've been more understanding, how I could've been a better friend, how I need to change everything. I need friends- I need something to do- I need. I need to
always
do
something.
I guess I figured out how I always end up being those characters. On the Jack Skellington quiz, it said that i was "very curious and persistent. You obsess over some things and once something gets into you head, you can't let it go. You like to be alone, but are social sometimes too. You are a leader and not a follower and don't think things through sometimes. You are the main character." I know I normally don't think about it, but this description is pretty spot on. It's odd, really- I know it in my heart that anyone reading this post will think I'm the weirdest person in the universe. I don't mind, but I just think that I will end up causing many arguements in my many posts.
Sigh.
I love causing mischief. >:D
Anyways, I was talking to my friend the other day and we got onto the subject of "My Little Pony." I told her how amazing I thought it was (which it is, by the way- you should all watch it) and we started talking about our favorite characters. It then came to our minds to figure out who we were as the ponies. She said I was like Twilight Sparkle- the one who reads and studies all the time, never makes new friends unless her other friends introduce them, and has her best friend with her all the time and has to get them out of trouble. When I finally analyzed all of this, I came to a realization- I'm Twilight. Completely and utterly. It's so weird that I end up being all the main, OCD, studious characters, but I guess it makes sense. I took a quiz about which Nightmare Before Christmas character I was for fun- I was Jack. I'm Twilight Sparkles. Apparently, I look and act like Velma Dinkley from Scooby Doo. I end up being all of those characters.
Lately, I've noticed that I've been a little more spastic than usual. I don't know if it's because summer's only 3 days away, or because of my life going pretty well of late, or because I just am. I honestly don't know, but what can a girl do? It's odd, really- all my years in school, I looked forward to summer vacation, but this year, I'm kinda looking forward to it, but not really. I don't wanna leave my friends, but I wanna go to South Padre Island. I don't want a friend of mine to move to North Carolina, but I want my cousin to move in already. I don't want another friend to be in Puerto Rico for 2 months, but I want to have someone to always facetime with. I don't want my friends going to different campuses, but I'm ready to reboot my reputation. I'm a little torn, but I know there's nothing I can do. Everything has it's pros and cons, but I know I'll never be able to even them out. It's cool, though- I know I'll live. I just don't know what the difficulty of my life will be after this summer. I'm sure it'll still be relatively easy, but I just don't want certain people to leave. I only don't want them to leave because I have a fear of them forgetting me. I don't want to be forgotten- I don't want to be alone- I'm just a bit insecure about that whole thing.
Any time I'm alone and not doing anything, I find myself hounded with past mistakes, past conversations, past heartbreaks, what I should've done, could've done, didn't do. I find that I become a graveyard for my past and a burnt map about my future. I become something that I never wanted to be- a lonely girl, stuck thinking about how I should've been more understanding, how I could've been a better friend, how I need to change everything. I need friends- I need something to do- I need. I need to
always
do
something.
I guess I figured out how I always end up being those characters. On the Jack Skellington quiz, it said that i was "very curious and persistent. You obsess over some things and once something gets into you head, you can't let it go. You like to be alone, but are social sometimes too. You are a leader and not a follower and don't think things through sometimes. You are the main character." I know I normally don't think about it, but this description is pretty spot on. It's odd, really- I know it in my heart that anyone reading this post will think I'm the weirdest person in the universe. I don't mind, but I just think that I will end up causing many arguements in my many posts.
Sigh.
I love causing mischief. >:D
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Switching campuses
It's a Wednesday.
May 5th.
I'm not looking forward to changing schools for next year.
So many of my friends (close friends) are going to completely different schools than me. Some friends aren't, of course, and I thank heaven that they aren't. But the ones that are hit close to home. I've never made so many friends that I can just be my frumpy-old self around, and next semester is taking away a good chunk of that joy I felt. What can I do? Nothing.
That's really what hurts the most.
I'm not able to change anything, for better or worse. My friend is moving to Austin, another may be moving back to Puerto Rico, another is in Tennessee, and many are going to specialized campuses. It's not that I'm not happy for them- I am! I just wish my school had all the things they love so we'd stay together.
Too many dreams, though.
Other than that, life's ok. I'm about to eat sun chips. Going to Orange Leaf on friday with a friend. I have a concert on Saturday. And I recently bought Fun.'s albums. So I guess, if you exclude that rant on school switching, life's amazing! And I guess I'll still have a large group of friends at my new campus, so I'm sure I'll be able to bear it.
Right?
May 5th.
I'm not looking forward to changing schools for next year.
So many of my friends (close friends) are going to completely different schools than me. Some friends aren't, of course, and I thank heaven that they aren't. But the ones that are hit close to home. I've never made so many friends that I can just be my frumpy-old self around, and next semester is taking away a good chunk of that joy I felt. What can I do? Nothing.
That's really what hurts the most.
I'm not able to change anything, for better or worse. My friend is moving to Austin, another may be moving back to Puerto Rico, another is in Tennessee, and many are going to specialized campuses. It's not that I'm not happy for them- I am! I just wish my school had all the things they love so we'd stay together.
Too many dreams, though.
Other than that, life's ok. I'm about to eat sun chips. Going to Orange Leaf on friday with a friend. I have a concert on Saturday. And I recently bought Fun.'s albums. So I guess, if you exclude that rant on school switching, life's amazing! And I guess I'll still have a large group of friends at my new campus, so I'm sure I'll be able to bear it.
Right?
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